So today was the second half of my Christmas. At one, my dad's sister, her husband, and their kid came for our advent get-together... which is usually on Christmas day. Then after they left, the FOUR of us hung out at Michelle's and exchanged our presents.

From Barb, I got:
- $25 gift card to Borders. Cool.
- Black socks with those grip things on the bottom. Okay.

(Last year's was better. A bookmark (which, by the way, I don't recall where it is), and $50 to Borders... spent it all on the very next day. Went way too fast.)

Then, later:
- Michelle got me this ADORABLE panda plushie that has a head over two times the size of it's body.
- Steph got me this really soft panda plushie (which has a baby panda on its back)
- And Caitlin got me this five inch tall Pandapple plushie, and this little panda case that opens up, and inside was a panda necklace.

I love drowning in pandas.
And I don't care if "plushie" is not an American world. It's more British, but it sounds better than saying "stuffed"... sounds like taxidermy.


There's some sad news, as well. The snow is ugly. It's got pine needles and branches all over, it's getting dirty looking, and it's all MELTING. It is incredibly sad.
And school starts again next Monday. I have not done any homework. Except for attempts on trying to improve my senior paper.

Apparently, on the bright side, though... it's gonna be a new year, and apparently on the eve, the girls and I are gonna hang out and play roman candle tag... I'm a bit reluctant, to me honest. But then, what's life without playing close to the edge for a bit? (And, apparently, the worse thing that's happened is Michelle singeing her hair a little)

I'm 18 years old...
(and a couple months)
...and I still have yet to be kissed...
-_-;;

I want to say that I get more desperate by the day, but that's not entirely true. I think it just gets more depressing by the day. The FACT gets depressing, not always ME. But there are times where I'm like "Who am I fucking kidding?" and get all emo and think I'm never gonna get kissed.
I am going to die a fucking virgin.

...and I look at all the people around me. I get pissed when I hear my parents kissing. Especially in front of me. I cannot stand it. And there will be a day where I SNAP, since I haven't had the courage to tell them. They like it, and who am I to take away that moment of happiness? And it's not like they make-out or anything.
I get more annoyed at random students making out in the hall. One time I almost told a couple to get a room. I think they heard me, though, when I told a friend I wanted to say it.
I think of the girls with boyfriends.
I wonder what I lack...

[By the way, the only couple I have the most RESPECT for is Emily and Jacob. They've been together FOREVER. I've seen them hold hands walking down the hall, but I don't ever recall seeing them kiss. Seriously. Not even a peck.]

...And of course, I think that I'm just not pretty enough, for one. I've told my friends this. Told Michelle... she said I was pretty and then she threatened to slap me for not believing it. Then Caitlin, Steph, and Sarah said I was pretty. I told them to get me 2 random guys to say I was pretty, and I'd "be convinced."
A week or two later, I'm sitting in my desk in Japanese, and Matt says close to my ear that I'm pretty. I had a feeling *someone* told him I didn't think I was. But I asked why he said it. Sarah told him I didn't think I was pretty. I said about the two RANDOM guys. Guys I didn't really know. So he said that was two random male STRANGERS. He calls Si over. "Do you think she's pretty?" Si looks at me. Slight pause. "Yeah." or maybe it was "Sure."
Anyway, I wasn't that convinced. I blushed, but I still wasn't that convinced, because it was in front of me, and Si may have been afraid to... dampen my spirits. But having Si say it (who, himself, is somewhat cute. I think it's the hair that kinda distances me. If he had more emo hair... I may jump him), was kind of a ego-booster.... Of course, Si also kissed Chris (not cool Chris.... It was a dare on Halloween last year)... so that's kinda... eh.

And you know the really scary part? Or the part that bothers me, at least? The only person I really want to ask "Do you think I'm pretty?" is to Donut. I feel so fucking bad that I think this guy is one of the most adorable things to walk the planet! I mean, I only feel bad because he's Sarah boyfriend... or he was the last time I checked a few days ago. I really didn't think they'd last more than 3 weeks.... I mean... they really only knew each other less than a week before dating, and Donut JUST broke up with his girlfriend who he'd been dating since... at least April....

And I hate that he's going out with her. I really do. And I feel bad thinking this.... Not just because I think he's cute, and I want to date him, but because she's... kind of a whore. And I really don't want him to get mentally hurt... or get an STD or something. I mean, Sarah's nice and everything, but... if I was a guy, I wouldn't be her boyfriend. Kind of like with Chelsea.

...Anyway, I'd kill to hear Donut say I was pretty.
I'd kill more people to hear Donut say it than, like... Richard or Bryan. Quite possibly combined. 'Cause... like I'd imagine Richard and Bryan would be far more likely to say it to say it (and "get in my pants"), and Donut... he'd mean it. Or Donut would have a far greater chance of being honest. Or just... nice.... Because he's a sensitive guy for the most part. It's cute.
Ugh. Shut UP, Megan!! >=[


Well, yeah... so I'm gonna go lay in bed, without falling asleep because of all the thoughts flowing through my head and the tears rolling down my cheeks.
Not before writing some imaginary make-out scenes first.

...I'd love to be Juliet right now...
I least she got some serious infatuation-love before she died.

• White Christmas (Gorgeous!). First one in YEARS. I do not recall the last time we had one.
• Guitar Hero: World Tour. Ridiculously fun. I'm noticably getting better at the drums. Whoo! They're also a workout. My right leg and arms are going to be tuned and coordinated. =]
• Shiny Toy Guns: Season of Poison. I have still not listened to it, but I've been busy with other stuff.
• Animal Crossing: City Folk. Have not played yet. Will soon. But I LOVE the AC series. =D
• My Chemical Romance: The Black Parade is Dead! CD/DVD. Haven't watched this yet.
• MySims: Kingdom. MySims was fun at first, but it got... lame after a while. So, I'm excited about Kingdom because I love Victorian and Renaissance type culture.
• And last, but DEFINATELY not least (this is my favorite of the whole list), my new friggin laptop. It's gorgeous, shiny, and silver. I did not ask for it, but my parents said they only got it because it was a ridiculously good deal. I love it. I really do. On it right now. Now I don't have to stay up all night on the main computer. I can stay up all night on the privacy of my laptop. I really missed the days I could watch TV and be online at the same time. That was my fav part of having a laptop.
• Alright, so not many presents, and my dad's sister chickened out on coming over to exchange presents and eat and watch a movie together. But that just left more time for me to play games and love my computer. This Christmas went by MUCH faster than any other Christmas I remember.
  

I remembered this when I realized I'd almost be up the whole night if for some reason I had school later (Wouldn't anyway, it's a fucking awesome "blizzard" outside. Everyone is calling it a blizzard)

I hadn't slept the night before a day of school. I told this to Matt when I came into Japanese that day.
He said something like "I know what you mean. I was up until 4."
Overdramatically, I reply "That's totally almost the same thing!" (Dude. wtf. "Overdramatic" is SO a freakin word!)
It made both Matt and Bryan laugh.
"I'm glad you said that. I feel better now," Matt said.

=]

Dude. Shit. I was just trying to fix the font colors of the previous post, and ending up deleting like the last half without even realizing it until after I published the post and checked to see if I had fixed it.

I really only remember the last paragraph I wrote, and... so I hope that was pretty much all I had written. =/

Play That Song.

Pretty nifty, eh?
I was getting extremely tired with the old layout and I spent FOREVER trying to come up with something I wouldn't get sick of in less than a year.

And if you actually CARE about me, and LOVE me (*crickets chirp*), you would've noticed I had this up LAST NIGHT. But I started to feel really sick and so I went to bed without posting anything. And then I totally would've written this earlier, but the power went out before 6 pm... when I was in the shower.

Believe me, it wasn't that bad... surrounded by darkness as water cascades down you. And it totally doesn't seem so dark if you have your eyes closed.
So I had my quickest shower ever. I usually shampoo my hair twice then do the conditioner, BUT, the power went out as I was rinsing out my first batch of shampoo, then thank GOD there's only two bottles, and I did the conditioner in like 5 minutes tops. So my shower was like 15 min. GASP!
It took me a while to take note that the water temp and pressure was very slowly decreasing. So it wasn't that bad. I could've easily done another 5 minutes.
And... in a way, it was really comforting.

So the power came back just before 11 pm. That's 5 hours without power. The longest we've had in a couple years.
So... this winter storm is actually pretty promising. Someone said how a weather person said that this was going to be comparable to the one 5 years ago.... THAT, my friends, was the WORLD'S most AWESOME winter storm. God, I had so much fun. I mean, that was the year we got TONS of snow and then a 3/4 inch layer of ice (from all the freezing rain) on top of it. I literally was able to slide down our hill with nothing but the shoes on my feet and the gloves on my hands. It was soooo much fun. And all the school we missed! Godly! I mean, one of our days got turned into a half day because of the baseball-sized snowflakes falling out of the sky. And this was like about 5oo feet, less than, from sea level!


Anyway, so... I adore this blog template thing because of all the tabs.
I. love. tabs.
For realz.
And since I'm a bloody effing genius, I added another tab to the first column and then took one away from the 4th column (so the thing wouldn't look so odd), and, thus, combined the affiliates and the credits.
Why? Because the first column had the song lyrics and the YouTube tab, but there was NO WHERE to specifically put a playlist, and I didn't want to put it on the To Do List, or take away the To Do List, replacing it with the video, because what if the video was a video of the song on which I put up the lyrics to? I mean, really! It was the only thing that really made sense to me.
So that took a bit of thought and searching and massive skill to make that happen. Well, maybe not massive skill, but still.... You wouldn't have been able to do it, right?

Then one of the tabs (the purple one) was originally pink. Yeah, I'm serious. I couldn't have that. So I changed that to purple, changed the tag from h1pink to h1purple, and notice how the blog post titles are purple? It used to be pink.
And then I added h1red. Which is totally what you see on the welcome page.
And I think it looks badass.
Added the "welcome to", using the already existing h2yellow, which is used as "sharing the love <3" style="font-weight: bold;">

Guess who rocks?!
ME!

Oh yeah, you know it!
Got my 8 pages DONE by 2 am this morning.
AND I got 3 hours of sleep.

I feel on top of the world right now.

...really fucking hopeless.

Paper due tomorrow.
8 pages...

I've got like a line or 2 on page 6.

Yeah. I'm screwed.

...Is a holographic belt.

Boo. yah.


I saw one, and I think I might kill for one... maybe not that EXACT belt design, but still a friggin' holographic belt.
Can you even imagine the awesomeness?

Lunch today is something to be remembered.

I went with everyone but Michelle to the Yearbook room to drop off my senior pictures. We come back to the commons, and Michelle is all "I thought you guys left me!" Then, like, behind her ish, I see Richard and Jesse... and someone else... together. And... I think Jesse was the one that pointed. At us.

Yeah.

I immediantly freak out.
I got really close to Michelle, and she said that he was pointing "over here." After I said "Yeah, that's what I was going to tell you!" I realized that she couldn't have seen that since her back was to them.
So I asked if it was just once or that they had done it earlier, and she said that when she got to the table and was looking for us, she saw him pointing at our table.

Can you say FREAK OUT?!
So I'm scared. and such. I know I should be happy and WOO! But it's that hormone thing that makes you avoid the person you like. Why the hell is that by the way? Why do our instincts immediately take us away from these... things... events... stuff?

We go to vending machines.
I decide I need to wash hands. Want to, rather. Steph decides to come. Just as we get down there, Steph says that he just passed. Crap. I wash my hands anyway, and come out to find everyone right there. We start heading back, and he passes by again, going back to the commons.
Double crap.

Lunch is over. We're standing up as usual. He begins to pass. I force myself to keep glancing at him to see if he looks over. He does. A glance.
But enough to keep me on cloud seven.

I am still quite fucked.

(Get your mind out of the gutter!)

But, seriously.
I am screwed.

I've got like... 5 pages done. Supposed to have 8. Information is so fucking hard to come by. Stuff I could actually USE. Paper's not due to go off until Dec. 8... but that doesn't seem to matter much. Tomorrow... er, TODAY, we're supposed to be correcting each other's papers again. Like, the last time. So we can have it perfect by next Monday.
So... I'm fucked.

I'm hungry... oh, and I've got a cold. Thanks Caitlin and Michelle!

And I have the feeling I'm going to be cussing a lot today.
...Know that feeling? Or is it just me?