If possible, I'd like to get feedback on my... problems.
Tyler has been giving INCREDIBLY mixed signals. Although, when I think about it, so am I. But he does know that I like him... right? Well, whatever.
So, there's this GIRL that suddenly decided to hang out with him. And by "hang out with him" I mean hang from his arm like a trophy wife. I asked Cassy who the girl was and she didn't know. The other girls that hang out with Tyler don't like her. I can't blame them. The words used were "prep" and "slut."
And I think he likes her.
The last few days I'm seen her wear his sweater and his SOAD wristband. When he liked Chelsea, I'd see her wearing his sweater, and I was told once that Tyler insisted she'd wear it.
I wonder if he still likes her.
On Wednesday, the first day back, Oliver gave me my Christmas present (a little stuffed panda), so at lunch, when we went to the vending machines I was, for some reason, leaning against the wall, showing Tyler the panda. I had it covering my nose and mouth, looking over its little head. Tyler said it was awesome, and he started leaning towards me slowly.
What the HELL?
The only thing I could think of was that he was going to kiss me... but I had the panda there... But I didn't really think that he was going to kiss the panda. All I could think of was that he was going to kiss me... even though it made no sense whatsoever. Wasn't he into that slut-girl?
I knew that even if he WAS going to kiss me, I wasn't going to let it happen. No way in hell was my first kiss going to be in a hallway at school, surrounded by friends and people I don't know.
Yep, I still haven't been kissed... and I'm effin 17 years old.
So, still looking at where his eyes would be if his hair wasn't in the way, breathing coming hard, I suddenly sort of shoved the panda into Tyler's face, completely throwing him off. He laughed, saying "What the--?" ...I don't remember what word he used, or if he used one.
But, seriously, WHAT THE HELL was that?!?!?! Was the fact that he was so surprised by the panda attack a clue to what he was doing or thinking of doing?
I forgot about this incident for a few days. I was too busy thinking about slut-girl and Tyler and if there was something *there.* If there was a relationship or not.
He just seems to be... ignoring me or something lately. I now wonder (after remembering the "incident") if he's been like this BECAUSE of the incident....
Yesterday, after math, I got a hug from Tyler, and then he went out of the classroom like I was... Was he walking me to my class? Hell no. I asked what he was doing and he just said that a friend told him to do it. I wondered if this "friend" was slut-girl. WELL, today, he doesn't even BOTHER to even say "Hi" as I'm packing up and he drops off his stuff and heads out into the hallway. As if I didn't already feel depressed. However, I was slightly relieved when slut-girl passed by me in the hallway. No Tyler in sight.
Yep, my life is absolutely brilliant right now.
welcome to
{A Dark Soul}
navigate using the bars above
O P H E L I A C
by Emilie Autumn
I'm your Opheliac
I've been so disillusioned
I know you'd take me back
But still I feign confusion
I couldn't be your friend
My world was too unstable
You might have seen the end
But you were never able
To keep me breathing
As the water rises up again
Before I slip away
You know the games I play
And the words I say
When I want my own way
You know the lies I tell
When you've gone through hell
And I say I can't stay
You know how hard it can be
To keep believing in me
When everything and everyone
Becomes my enemy and when
There's nothing more you can do
I'm gonna blame it on you
It's not the way I want to be
I only hope that in the end you will see
It's the Opheliac in me
I'm your Opheliac
My stockings prove my virtue
I'm open to attack
But I don't want to hurt you
Whether I swim or sink
That's no concern of yours now
How could you possibly think
You had the power to know how
To keep me breathing
As the water rises up again
Before I slip away
You know the games I play
And the words I say
When I want my own way
You know the lies I tell
When you've gone through hell
And I say I can't stay
You know how hard it can be
To keep believing in me
When everything and everyone
Becomes my enemy and when
There's nothing more you can do
I'm gonna blame it on you
It's not the way I want to be
I only hope that in the end you will see
It's the Opheliac in me
Studies show:
Intelligent girls are more depressed
Because they know
What the world is really like
Don't think for a beat it makes it better
When you sit her down and tell her
Everything gonna be all right
She knows in society she either is
A devil or an angel with no in between
She speaks in the third person
So she can forget that she's me
Doubt thou the stars are fire
Doubt thou the sun doth move
Doubt truth to be a liar
But never doubt
Doubt thou the stars are fire
Doubt thou the sun doth move
Doubt truth to be a liar
But never doubt I love
You know the games I play
And the words I say
When I want my own way
You know the lies I tell
When you've gone through hell
And I say I can't stay
You know how hard it can be
To keep believing in me
When everything and everyone
Becomes my enemy and when
There's nothing more you can do
I'm gonna blame it on you
It's not the way I want to be
I only hope that in the end you will see
Y O U T U B E L O V E
sharing the love <3
embed your favourite youtube video here. make sure to change the object width to 360 and height to 292 so that it fits :D
:D
M U S I C
filling ears with love
more lovin'
P R O F I L E
me myself and i :D
Megan
9/14/90 (so I'm 20)
The Pacific Northwest! Yay rain!!
(I will not accept any offers to advertise on or about my blog)
Loves
Music, Chocolate, Internet, Invader Zim, Writing, Reading, Photography, Drawing, Dreaming, Computers, Pandas! <3, Galaxy (my laptop), My iPod, Rain, Snow, Wind, Blogging, Ice cream, The Moon, Full Moons, Stars, Glowsticks, Glow-in-the-dark-things, Stuffed animals, Recycling, Concerts, Hide-and-seek, Laughing, Choices, Doing random things, Doing nothing, My FRIENDS!
Hates
Jerks, Spiders, Heights, Needles, Shrinks that don't eat chocolate, HEADACHES! DX, Roadkill, Meat, PMSing, Drama, Spicy foods, Pink, The Sun
MUSIC
Evanescence |
My Chemical Romance |
Kill Hannah |
Sick Puppies |
Flyleaf |
30 Seconds To Mars |
From First to Last |
Chevelle |
10 Years |
Shiny Toy Guns |
The Used |
Enter Shikari |
Linkin Park |
Avenged Sevenfold |
Story of the Year |
Emilie Autumn |
Green Day |
Lacuna Coil |
Scarling. |
kidneythieves |
Secret & Whisper |
Paramore |
Birthday Massacre |
Resident Hero |
{And about a bajillion others. I'm lazy though. I'll get to it eventually.}
Wheee!
I N S P I R E
things that will change your life
[S O N G S.}
ONE. "Reduced to Teeth" - Finch
TWO: "Anything Can Happen In The Next Half Hour..." - Enter Shikari
THREE. "Hello" - Evanescence
FOUR: "All The Same" - Sick Puppies
FIVE. "The Kill" - 30 Seconds to Mars
SIX: "Demolition Lovers" - My Chemical Romance
SEVEN. "Mad World" - Gary Jules
EIGHT: "Slide" - The Dresden Dolls
NINE. "Let The Flames Begin" - Paramore
TEN: "Sunrise, Sunset" - Bright Eyes
ELEVEN. "Imagine" - (I prefer A Perfect Circle's cover)
TWELVE: "Cellar Door" - Escape The Fate
THIRTEEN. "Ender" - Finch
FOURTEEN: "Because" - The Beatles
FIFTEEN. "A Beautiful Lie" - 30 Seconds To Mars
SIXTEEN: "Strawberry Gashes" - Jack Off Jill
SEVENTEEN. "Sleep" - Story of the Year
EIGHTEEN: "Great White Whale" - Secret & Whisper
NINETEEN. "Goodnight" - The Birthday Massacre
TWENTY: "Hit The Floor" - Bullet For My Valentine
TWENTY-ONE. "Blow" - Atreyu
TWENTY-TWO. "Crystalised" - The xx
ONE. "Reduced to Teeth" - Finch
TWO: "Anything Can Happen In The Next Half Hour..." - Enter Shikari
THREE. "Hello" - Evanescence
FOUR: "All The Same" - Sick Puppies
FIVE. "The Kill" - 30 Seconds to Mars
SIX: "Demolition Lovers" - My Chemical Romance
SEVEN. "Mad World" - Gary Jules
EIGHT: "Slide" - The Dresden Dolls
NINE. "Let The Flames Begin" - Paramore
TEN: "Sunrise, Sunset" - Bright Eyes
ELEVEN. "Imagine" - (I prefer A Perfect Circle's cover)
TWELVE: "Cellar Door" - Escape The Fate
THIRTEEN. "Ender" - Finch
FOURTEEN: "Because" - The Beatles
FIFTEEN. "A Beautiful Lie" - 30 Seconds To Mars
SIXTEEN: "Strawberry Gashes" - Jack Off Jill
SEVENTEEN. "Sleep" - Story of the Year
EIGHTEEN: "Great White Whale" - Secret & Whisper
NINETEEN. "Goodnight" - The Birthday Massacre
TWENTY: "Hit The Floor" - Bullet For My Valentine
TWENTY-ONE. "Blow" - Atreyu
TWENTY-TWO. "Crystalised" - The xx
(Not in much of an order)
T O D O L I S T
this should be useful
Stop A Bullet
Surgery
Sunrise, Sunset
Autopsy Song~
Breath
Mastermind
The Undertaker's Thirst
T A G B O A R D
yakkity yak yak
Yes, I took it down.
I don't promote spamming.
Oh, Screw...
8:52 PM - Saturday, January 05, 2008
A R C H I V E S
wasting my life away
A F F I L I A T E S
i am anti-social, yeah.
.: [ Daydream ] :.
.: [ There's Nothing Left to Do ] :.
.: [ So What? ] :.
.: [ Finding the Balance ] :.
.: [ Suck the Marrow ] :.
.: [ Close my eyes and I am falling away... ] :.
C R E D I TS
the idiot who spent forever on this skin
Play That Song
this skin is proudly brought to you by DancingSheep
I modified this blog a bit myself. Because I'm a bloody genius. So... XP