Last night I had a dream. Caitlin and I had roamed across the large school. We ended up next to the gym where there were quite a few kids. Elf Kid was there, dressed up in his PE clothes, and Tyler (of course) was there. They were all doing nothing. Caitlin left to tell Sensei something (Sensei was subbing for PE).

I doubled over, coughing, and sort of throwing up in this sort of bowl thing. But the "vomit" was quite clear... and jelly-like, I suppose. It was weird... more weird than gross, really.

I could see Tyler's feet as I was still hunched over. He started walking towards me and went to my other side. I was thinking how incredibly sweet he was being, figuring he was going to rub my back and say that everything was alright.
Instead, he wiped away this clear, stringy, vomit/spit thing from my face and had me stand straight up.

Then he kissed me.
He put his lips on mine, and I felt this wonderful, intriguing feeling inside my chest, I remember feeling like my body was on fire, a description I used in one of my books.

I know it kinda sounds gross. I mean he kissed me after I practically vomited...


I think it was REALLY weird, because it was just a few days ago I dreamt that he almost kissed me, and I had a sense of touch in the dream. THIS dream, that sense of touch that I freaked out about was intensified. What I mean is, I felt a lot more.

And whenever I think about those few seconds of fantasy, a huge grin appears on my face.

I've never been kissed in my dreams before. Oh wait... that's a lie. There was that one time, but I didn't really feel our lips touch and I didn't get the odd feeling throughout my body... and I didn't see their face or recognize the voice. Okay, so I've never been kissed in my dreams my someone I knew/recognized. Yeah... that's better.


Does the dream mean something?
In a way, I think that it means that whenever I'm down, sick, or hurt, he'll be there to make it all better (cheesy, huh?). If it's about the future, then maybe when I least expect it, or when I don't even want it, he'll open up to me... maybe kiss me, I don't know.

-_-_-_-_-_-

You remember that slut-girl I told you all about?
The one that was always hanging off of Tyler's arm like a trophy wife?

Well, at lunch, one of the twins, the blond twins (shit, I can't tell them apart, and apparently, they're both in girl's wrestling) comes over and says that Amber ----- had spread a rumor that she slept with Tyler, and I swear everyone freaked. The other twin, Paula, Cassy, Randy. That's all I remembered looking/hearing the reactions of people... (that so didn't make sense).
So that's what her name is. I swear I've always wanted to call her Amber, for some reason.

My friends didn't freak as much. I told them all that she was a slut before, and so I reminded them that I knew all along

I pulled Cassy aside, told her I wanted to tell her about the dream I had, cause I knew she'd get a laugh out of it. So I told her that I dreamt that Tyler kissed me. Her mouth clamped shut, obviously trying to keep it in, but she only had control for like 2 seconds before she started cracking up. "See, I told you!"
And she asked if we did anything after it, where it was, how it was done, what was said. I didn't tell her anymore. The only thing I'd be able to tell her was about that vomit/spit thing, and I didn't feel like mentioning it.


During math I tried to figure out what I would say to Tyler: "How are you doing?" "Are you okay?" "I heard about the rumor." No, scratch that last one out. He doesn't want to hear about that.

Well, after math was over, he sat in his spot, and I asked how he was doing. He said that he had a headache. I started for the door, but I had planned on making a pit stop by Tyler to give him a hug without him having to get up. He said that he still hadn't asked Matt yet, and I laughed. "Still?" I appeared beside him a gave him a quick/average hug. I now wonder if he would've preferred NOT getting a hug from me... well like that... I think he sort of put one arm around me, but I could be wrong.
Then Mr. Anderson asked what he had said about Matt. "Your brother Matt"
"No, a different Matt."
Something else was said, then I turned to Tyler and said "Yeah, I have a brother. Matt"
"Does he know that you have a brother named Matt?"
"Well, now he does" NOW, I wonder if he was asking if MATT knew I had a brother named Matt. I wonder if I do, if it will make him back off a bit....

Well, on my way to 6th, I passed Slut-girl (aka "Amber") , talking happily to someone walking with her. Oh yeah, I wanted to kill her. I had an automatic impulse of tripping her. I think I'm just going to stick with death glares/disgusted looks when I see her.
I WILL NOT tolerate this!
I would so fight her... but it's really not my battle, and getting suspended so close to finals is NOT a good way to go.

She is a filthy, stupid, slutty, bitchy, bratty, no good freshman. And to be honest, I kinda want her to die.

How desperate do you have to be to be a girl spreading around this rumor that you slept with a guy? I mean, at least I can begin to understand why a guy would do that, but a girl? How bloody desperate do you have to be? And WHAT the hell does she want? What does she want out of spreading that lie?


ANYWAY! I started cleaning up in art too late, and Mr. Yee was "tutoring" Cassy, and so she didn't clean up until like a minute before the bell rang. So slowly made my way to the door, and held it open, waiting for Cassy. Tyler was already with the group. No "Amber". But I still waited for Cassy. Then I came up behind Tyler and kicked him lightly in the leg... I've been kicking him a lot, lately.... He turned. I don't really remember what was said except for when he asked me how I was doing. I don't remember the last time he asked me that. And I always noticed when he didn't ask how I was doing... as if he didn't care about that.
Did he care today?
I don't remember what I replied with. I may have shrugged after a bit, slightly lost for words that he had actually asked. I wished I had said "I've been better," cause then that would apply that something was the matter, but I didn't want to talk about it.
Caitlin and Michelle came in and I asked them if the bus was still there, and they said yeah.

So I said bye to the peoples, and speedwalked outside. While on the ramp, a finger poked my back. I was not in the mood. So I did a light "Eek!" and seeing that it was Matt, I told him to not do it. He said he was sorry, but I have a feeling that he wasn't.
If I said "I'm not in the mood to be poked," then he would've asked what was wrong, and I didn't want that.
Of course, he gets on the bus the one day I really don't want him on.
I was a bit happier when I saw the bus was hardly few, and I got to sit next to Steph. And then a bit later, Busboy and Poofy Hair got on the bus. It was awesome. All the middle schoolers were gawking over his hair, and as he sat I heard him say "I've got fans."
On Matt's stop, he poked the top of my head. Can you say "The final straw"? I didn't turn to see who it was, because I knew. And I waved when he waved at me. And when he got off, I touched my head where he poked me and said "That was so not cool." I'm not sure if Steph totally understood what I was talking about. But she said "I think he does like you" and I groaned and said something about not liking it. I can hardly stand him as a person. He's so much worse when he's flirting with me, in a way that totally says "I have no idea what I'm doing, so I'll just obsess"



UGH!! I just need to forget about ALLL this stuff (well, the bad, horrible stuff, but not the dream kiss and Tyler asking how I'm doing). I should probably play Guitar Hero. That's a good misery-killer. But I should finish this Phys homework first.... STUPID BLOGSPOT! Making me pour all my anger and passion into a blog... a bloody blog! I mean, in a way, that's completely worse than a journal! Nobody reads and criticizes your journal!