Today I was hoping to finish my book report (the Siddhartha one) and be able to have enough time to watch the Fuse Fangoria Chainsaw Awards because it is going to kick ASS!


But right now... uhh... I'm obviously NOT doing homework....

And my parents are at the hospital.



Yes. Very fun.


Well, they've been there before multiple times. But it's usually to the ER because my dad put a nail through his finger or cut the same finger with his pocket knife and was bleeding everywhere. Or the time when he tore a muscle.... But one of my worst memories is when my mom went to the hospital because she wasn't doing well.

This is almost exactly like this, but with my dad.

I woke up with my mom and Matt gone (at church) and my dad was in his bedroom watching Nascar... something I didn't think about twice, even though he's usually in the living room with the surround sound on (which would've woken me up). After my mom got home and my dad was in the kitchen she asked him if he was dressed and he said that he was fine the way he was (Nascar shirt and sweatpants). I asked where they were going and my mom replies "We're going to get his blood pressure checked because he's not doing so well."

Yeah. Not good. If my dad isn't doing good... it's really bad. He used to give me speeches when I wasn't doing good that went along the lines of "I don't go to work ONLY if I'm vomiting my guts out, I can't walk, or I'm bleeding to a critical point."


I took a full dose of Excedrin Migraine, because I woke with a horrible headache, and I started to work on the puzzle I had started yesterday (puzzles relax me). After about a half hour or so I started thinking about the worse senario. Well, not the worse. But I got scared. Then a little after that, Mom called and she asked if Matt was home yet, then she said that my dad's blood pressure was too high and that they were going to do some tests on him to see if... something. I think she cut herself off. So then she said that they weren't going to be home for a while yet and that her cellphone was going to be off since you can't have it on in the hospital.

Now before she said that, I thought that they were at the emergency care place in Camas. But the hospital...

Okay, so I got Cara's message asking if I like died on Blogger or something. So I go and see if anyone left any more comments, and the page tells me that the URL doesn't exist. At this time, my heart is beating in my ears because I was freaking out so bad. I go to the help section, and it doesn't tell me shit. Or anything close to it.

So then I think "Hummm.... What if I change my blog address?" So I did. Now you're probably saying to the computer screen "No you didn't". Ha, that's what YOU think. No, I tried changing it to "darksoul01" then "darksoul09" then "shatteredtear" then "shatteredtears", then just for grins "loveinoctober" (because they sent me a friend request). That wasn't taken, so it let me. Then I changed it BACK to "darksoul0" and republished my blog and TADA!!! YAY!!!! My life is SAVED!

Yeah, so that was fun.


I REALLY should be working on the book report for Siddhartha.... I'm sooo screwed.

I blame the Zoloft.... Yeah, I got back on it. I got a NEW doctor and as she was talking about what she was thinking, I seriously wanted to hug her and say "A woman after my own heart!" because her voice was like an echo of what I had been thinking over the past month. So, yeah. I'm really not anxious for anything at all, but for the past few days I've been really down. I started crying yesterday. I was trying to work on the report and I broke down a little. I started reading some Dr. Seuss books here in the computer room.... I'm so going insane.




Er... so yeah. I BET I'm going to SOOO regret this later, but there is a guy I'm crushing on. I know Brittni knows who I'm talking about. And I'm not going to say his name... unless Brittni suddenly BLURTS it out and you actually knew who he was. Yeah... so he might like me back, I don't know. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?

Anyway, I HAVE to say this. A few weeks ago, he hurt his foot from playing hacky sack. Because apparently they all were trying to get it at the same time, and he was the only one that got hurt. SO when he said this, me and Karlie stared laughing, because it was funny, obviously. And I said "It's always funny when guys get hurt." Karlie nodded. Then the guy leans over to me (Karlie sits to my right, and he's behind her) and freaking PINCHES my arm!!! It hurt even though I had my sweater on and he claimed he didn't pinch as hard as he could've. My arm was red there for an hour... THEN a nasty bruise appeared near it 2 days later (hmmm...)



Wow... this blog template is so out of date. Personally, I DO like Gerard's new-ish hair (really short and blonde) but he DOES look better with it black and long. People were kinda confused when I said I liked it. I like his old hair BETTER, though. And I heard about his hair a LONG time ago (like July or August) from my AWESOME Quizillian friend, Jamie.


There's this concert I really want to go to (not as much as I wanted for the Kill Hannah and MSI one) with From First To Last, Atreyu, Every Time I Die, and Chiodos. And I only want to see FFTL and Atreyu. It's on Nov. 15 (a Wednesday) at Roseland at like... 8 pm I think. And my mom doesn't want me to, since it IS a school night. I do have I ride (I think) and friends I can go with.... So, yeah... that's a downer.


I'll get more later. Maybe.