The more I think about it, the more I realize how I've changed.
The even more I think about it, the more I realize I change a lot.
Some for better, some worse.
The more I think about it, the more I realize I'm not really that dark of a person.
The even more I think about it, the more I realize that sometimes I am... a dark person.
My own thoughts scare me.
The more I think about it, the more I think it's Kill Hannah.
The even more I think about, it might be Kevin.
The more I think about it, I realize I don't like Kevin that way.
I admit, I used to have a crush on him, it went away MONTHS ago.
I'm just more sure that I'm right -- now other than 2 months ago.
I'm just trying to say that... I'm more positive. Well, maybe not positive... but maybe I'm just better at handling my depression, maybe just making it feel... happier for myself.
I gotta say, I get these depression swings. Only once a day, I believe. Thus I get depressed usually at night lately. I don't know what it is.
The more I think about it, I think it's My So-Called Life. And I'm now 95% certain I've seen all 19 episodes.
The even more I think about it the more I believe it's lack of seeing friends. Friend interaction. I blame it on my... bad phone skills (I'm not a phone person). Speaking of which, by the way, I got a cell phone! Wheeee!! Now I don't have to use other people's cells to call my parents.
Just... out of nowhere, I'll get this urge to cry. I try to find SOMETHING that I can cry to. I don't know...
Back to my positive thing... it's like I'm not so into metal... or maybe it's just I'm getting into more upbeat things... like Kill Hannah, and OK Go is good, too (I LOVE their videos "A Million Ways" and "Here It Goes Again"). It's always a breath of fresh air when I hear a haunting melody, though... example: Breaking Benjamin's "Diary of Jane"... WONDERFUL song. I really wanted to get their LAST album (We Are Not Alone) when the song "So Cold" came out, but it was explicit... so I hope that when I go and pick up Phobia at a music store, I won't see and explicit sticker on it.
Well... right now the right side of my head is throbbing slightly and... I want to make sure it has no chance of exploding or coming close to it... so I'm gonna leave with just what I have here... no matter how bad it sounds to me.
welcome to
{A Dark Soul}
navigate using the bars above
O P H E L I A C
by Emilie Autumn
I'm your Opheliac
I've been so disillusioned
I know you'd take me back
But still I feign confusion
I couldn't be your friend
My world was too unstable
You might have seen the end
But you were never able
To keep me breathing
As the water rises up again
Before I slip away
You know the games I play
And the words I say
When I want my own way
You know the lies I tell
When you've gone through hell
And I say I can't stay
You know how hard it can be
To keep believing in me
When everything and everyone
Becomes my enemy and when
There's nothing more you can do
I'm gonna blame it on you
It's not the way I want to be
I only hope that in the end you will see
It's the Opheliac in me
I'm your Opheliac
My stockings prove my virtue
I'm open to attack
But I don't want to hurt you
Whether I swim or sink
That's no concern of yours now
How could you possibly think
You had the power to know how
To keep me breathing
As the water rises up again
Before I slip away
You know the games I play
And the words I say
When I want my own way
You know the lies I tell
When you've gone through hell
And I say I can't stay
You know how hard it can be
To keep believing in me
When everything and everyone
Becomes my enemy and when
There's nothing more you can do
I'm gonna blame it on you
It's not the way I want to be
I only hope that in the end you will see
It's the Opheliac in me
Studies show:
Intelligent girls are more depressed
Because they know
What the world is really like
Don't think for a beat it makes it better
When you sit her down and tell her
Everything gonna be all right
She knows in society she either is
A devil or an angel with no in between
She speaks in the third person
So she can forget that she's me
Doubt thou the stars are fire
Doubt thou the sun doth move
Doubt truth to be a liar
But never doubt
Doubt thou the stars are fire
Doubt thou the sun doth move
Doubt truth to be a liar
But never doubt I love
You know the games I play
And the words I say
When I want my own way
You know the lies I tell
When you've gone through hell
And I say I can't stay
You know how hard it can be
To keep believing in me
When everything and everyone
Becomes my enemy and when
There's nothing more you can do
I'm gonna blame it on you
It's not the way I want to be
I only hope that in the end you will see
Y O U T U B E L O V E
sharing the love <3
embed your favourite youtube video here. make sure to change the object width to 360 and height to 292 so that it fits :D
:D
M U S I C
filling ears with love
more lovin'
P R O F I L E
me myself and i :D
Megan
9/14/90 (so I'm 20)
The Pacific Northwest! Yay rain!!
(I will not accept any offers to advertise on or about my blog)
Loves
Music, Chocolate, Internet, Invader Zim, Writing, Reading, Photography, Drawing, Dreaming, Computers, Pandas! <3, Galaxy (my laptop), My iPod, Rain, Snow, Wind, Blogging, Ice cream, The Moon, Full Moons, Stars, Glowsticks, Glow-in-the-dark-things, Stuffed animals, Recycling, Concerts, Hide-and-seek, Laughing, Choices, Doing random things, Doing nothing, My FRIENDS!
Hates
Jerks, Spiders, Heights, Needles, Shrinks that don't eat chocolate, HEADACHES! DX, Roadkill, Meat, PMSing, Drama, Spicy foods, Pink, The Sun
MUSIC
Evanescence |
My Chemical Romance |
Kill Hannah |
Sick Puppies |
Flyleaf |
30 Seconds To Mars |
From First to Last |
Chevelle |
10 Years |
Shiny Toy Guns |
The Used |
Enter Shikari |
Linkin Park |
Avenged Sevenfold |
Story of the Year |
Emilie Autumn |
Green Day |
Lacuna Coil |
Scarling. |
kidneythieves |
Secret & Whisper |
Paramore |
Birthday Massacre |
Resident Hero |
{And about a bajillion others. I'm lazy though. I'll get to it eventually.}
Wheee!
I N S P I R E
things that will change your life
[S O N G S.}
ONE. "Reduced to Teeth" - Finch
TWO: "Anything Can Happen In The Next Half Hour..." - Enter Shikari
THREE. "Hello" - Evanescence
FOUR: "All The Same" - Sick Puppies
FIVE. "The Kill" - 30 Seconds to Mars
SIX: "Demolition Lovers" - My Chemical Romance
SEVEN. "Mad World" - Gary Jules
EIGHT: "Slide" - The Dresden Dolls
NINE. "Let The Flames Begin" - Paramore
TEN: "Sunrise, Sunset" - Bright Eyes
ELEVEN. "Imagine" - (I prefer A Perfect Circle's cover)
TWELVE: "Cellar Door" - Escape The Fate
THIRTEEN. "Ender" - Finch
FOURTEEN: "Because" - The Beatles
FIFTEEN. "A Beautiful Lie" - 30 Seconds To Mars
SIXTEEN: "Strawberry Gashes" - Jack Off Jill
SEVENTEEN. "Sleep" - Story of the Year
EIGHTEEN: "Great White Whale" - Secret & Whisper
NINETEEN. "Goodnight" - The Birthday Massacre
TWENTY: "Hit The Floor" - Bullet For My Valentine
TWENTY-ONE. "Blow" - Atreyu
TWENTY-TWO. "Crystalised" - The xx
ONE. "Reduced to Teeth" - Finch
TWO: "Anything Can Happen In The Next Half Hour..." - Enter Shikari
THREE. "Hello" - Evanescence
FOUR: "All The Same" - Sick Puppies
FIVE. "The Kill" - 30 Seconds to Mars
SIX: "Demolition Lovers" - My Chemical Romance
SEVEN. "Mad World" - Gary Jules
EIGHT: "Slide" - The Dresden Dolls
NINE. "Let The Flames Begin" - Paramore
TEN: "Sunrise, Sunset" - Bright Eyes
ELEVEN. "Imagine" - (I prefer A Perfect Circle's cover)
TWELVE: "Cellar Door" - Escape The Fate
THIRTEEN. "Ender" - Finch
FOURTEEN: "Because" - The Beatles
FIFTEEN. "A Beautiful Lie" - 30 Seconds To Mars
SIXTEEN: "Strawberry Gashes" - Jack Off Jill
SEVENTEEN. "Sleep" - Story of the Year
EIGHTEEN: "Great White Whale" - Secret & Whisper
NINETEEN. "Goodnight" - The Birthday Massacre
TWENTY: "Hit The Floor" - Bullet For My Valentine
TWENTY-ONE. "Blow" - Atreyu
TWENTY-TWO. "Crystalised" - The xx
(Not in much of an order)
T O D O L I S T
this should be useful
Stop A Bullet
Surgery
Sunrise, Sunset
Autopsy Song~
Breath
Mastermind
The Undertaker's Thirst
T A G B O A R D
yakkity yak yak
Yes, I took it down.
I don't promote spamming.
The More I Think About It..
1:54 AM - Thursday, August 24, 2006
A R C H I V E S
wasting my life away
A F F I L I A T E S
i am anti-social, yeah.
.: [ Daydream ] :.
.: [ There's Nothing Left to Do ] :.
.: [ So What? ] :.
.: [ Finding the Balance ] :.
.: [ Suck the Marrow ] :.
.: [ Close my eyes and I am falling away... ] :.
C R E D I TS
the idiot who spent forever on this skin
Play That Song
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I modified this blog a bit myself. Because I'm a bloody genius. So... XP